"The most enduring battle is between head and heart; what would be efficient and logical is nearly always trumped by what is messy and illogical." ~Antonya Nelson
"One of the worst battles you will have to fight is the one between what you know in your head and what you feel in you heart." ~Ritu Ghatourey
- Head: I have a full-time job as an educator in a high school. What was I thinking by taking on another job?? One that robs me of nights and weekends?!
- Heart: It'll be okay. I love taking pictures, and weeknight editing is a part of the weekend photo session process. I guess that's just the trade-off.
- Head: Yeah...editing... maybe you don't need to be such a perfectionist. Duh! Just adjust the exposure and move on! Or....here's a thought... get a handle on nailing exposure...and white balance...and everything else IN camera. Then all you'd have to do is pull the images off the camera straight onto a disc. Done!
- Heart: I AM trying to nail more skills in camera in real time on the shoot, but that takes extra time and I don't want anyone to be standing around waiting on me during a session. All that does is kick my anxiety into high gear anyway, which then leads to even more mistakes. No, I'll just deal with it at home after the session is done.
- Head: Whatever. Suit yourself.
- “If your goals aren’t synced with the substance of your heart, then achieving them won’t matter much.” ~Danielle LaPorte
- Heart: Okay, I've finished editing and now I'm ready to post a sample of them online. Ugh, here comes the churning stomach!
- Head: What are you so nervous about? You've done your job, and the pictures look fine.
- Heart: I'm just worried they won't like them. They showed me ideas they wanted done from Pinterest, and I'm not sure mine turned out as well as those. I can't stand disappointing people.
- Head: I think it's time to reword the info sheet to say you have your own style and they either need to trust you to deliver or they need to find someone else to do the job.
- Heart: No, I don't want to sound like I think I'm something special. Although, I DO have to admit that I don't understand why people would want to book a session with me and then turn around and send me specific shots that other local photographers have done, wanting me to copy those styles and poses. Why not just book a session with that other photographer?
- Head: Um...wake up! It's probably because they tried to use them first and couldn't get an appt., so they're coming to you, but not really wanting your work.
- Heart: Wow, yeah, you're probably right. That hurts my feelings, but, I'll win them over! I'll shoot exactly how they've requested...even if it's not my style or vision.
- Head: Yeah, but don't forget that time you took those pictures that they said they loved only to discover that afterwards they still went to someone else and had more pictures done. Pretty sure you didn't win them over...and you were devastated for weeks. Don't be that weak fool again, please.
- Heart: Well, those were the early days before I did so much self-study to improve my skills and composition. I think folks are better pleased with my work these days. Well...except when they still hire someone else. Yeah....that really DOES do a number on the ol' self-esteem.
- Head: You've gotta' toughen up if you're gonna' keep doing this whole photography thing. This is business....it's nothing personal.
- Heart: I wish I could believe that.
"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." ~Nelson Mandela
- Heart: I'm tired. Mentally and physically. I can't remember the last time I took pictures just for me...just because. I'm also tired of not making plans because there's a session on my appt. book....only to have that session rescheduled for another weekend, making a personal outing with my favorite guy impossible to plan.
- Head: Stop taking photo session appts.
- Heart: I can't. I'd be seen as a failure...as someone who isn't strong enough (smart enough... talented enough...) to keep all the balls juggling in the air. People will talk.
- Head: Who gives a rat's backside what "people" say?! It's lots less than you think, by the way. That's for sure! Nobody cares what you're doing or not doing. Everyone has their own life to deal with. Listen to me...Stop taking photo session appts.
- Heart: I can't. I'd be letting people down....people who have said things like "remember that pose in that place when mine is ready for senior pictures in a few years!"....or "I can't imagine anyone else taking my senior pictures but you!".... or other really nice & humbling things.
- Head: There are plenty of other local photographers...talented folks.... out there doing this. No one is going to "suffer" from you putting the appt. calendar away.
- Heart: Well, I don't want anyone to "suffer" because of me, but, to be honest, I DO want them to miss me. What about after I retire from my real job? I had always envisioned myself doing this after I leave the world of education. If I stop now, I'll lose everything I've built. I'll have to start all over again, and this town isn't that big!
- Head: If it's supposed to work out later, it will. God will see to it. Right now, I think God is saying it's time to enjoy photography again on your own terms.
- Heart: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you may be right. It actually makes perfect sense and feels right. That's gotta' count for something.
- “If my heart could do my thinking, and my head begin to feel, I would look upon the world anew, and know what’s truly real.” ~Van Morrison
- “When we really connect to that place of wisdom and strength and understanding, everything becomes easier.” ~Arianna Huffington
"When the mind is perfectly balanced with the heart, there is bound to be peace within." ~Author Unknown
With much love,
~DTR